hais

Disappointment

Frustration

i woke up today telling myself

that today would be better than the other days in the week

told myself that

hey elections for the rock climbing exco is later man.

school went by normally.

then went to prayers with hafiz and azri and hafiz

then they had lunch at my house

azri and hafiz left first

so it was just me and hafiz left.

we talked and joked

but inbetween the talks i would deep down think, this guy is running against me

hais

so we went to school for the elections.

now ive been trying to tell myself for a month that i wont get it

so i wont get my hopes up

but when you're ignorant, hope exists.

yeah.

so they called out the first few positions

then hafiz was vice cap

then

i told sean.

bro, its eugenia.

and he said

it still might be you

and right after that,

eugenia was called.

i wont lie, i was happy for her.

if it wasnt me i wanted her or sean as cap.

so yeah.

so i tried to climb normally after that.

and i noticed that none of the excos talked to me for some while

even if they did,

it was akward.

and i knew what it was about

haha....

hais.

so i climbed then left for home

and told my parents i didnt get it

so alright.

we went out

and i stayed isolated the whole time

its my brohers birthday today

he was excited and kept talking to me

and i snapped at him

but ill feel so bad that ill go up to him and talk to him

even though i wanted to be alone.

we went to smu for some art performance

and i just cant get the disappointment out of my head

i wanted so badly to be cheered up.

but i got nothing

nothing

its so..... depressing

i shed a teardrop in the car on the way to swensons

i cant help it.

i just felt so lousy.

and i still do.

3 Us for midyears

i just wanted to be cheered up, and another bombshell

crashes right onto the middle of my head

no one reads this blog anyway

if husrin reads it

he'll probably say it a bad post and comment on my spelling.

it sucks man

lately

i feel so unacomplished.

ive been wasting my life away

as a lousy friend and a lousy being

im drowning in self pity

but no one can save me.


Cause nobody reads this