Arh

it seems that whenever i have a post, its depressing
and i guess its safer to do it after this blog has been dead for so long cause not many people will read it.

well

i think that over the recent 4 years of my life, i can safely say i was a jerk
non of my relationships lasted 2 months.
when i think about it its kinda sad, although other people will think "wa fadhil player sia"
but it really makes me paranoid
and after the most recent relationship i had
i think i crossed the line distinguishing carefulness and complete paranoia.

i cant talk to a girl if i i like her anymore
sure i can talk to girls as friends
but when its a girl that i see different from other girls
i become so paranoid that i refrain myself from saying anything.

its really depressing
its so hard just trying to get to know a girl
even if i want to start of as friends, it hard cause i see her her in a different way.
sad man